“Yo mama” jokes

The Ultimate “Yo mama” jokes Jokes Collection

Welcome to our comprehensive collection of “Yo mama” jokes jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of “Yo mama” jokes humor.

Short “Yo mama” jokes Jokes

Yo mama’s so big, when she wears a yellow coat, people yell “Taxi!”

Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate says “expired.”

Yo mama’s so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

Yo mama’s so poor, ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she tried to take a selfie, her camera turned off.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she skips breakfast, the stock market drops.

Yo mama’s so slow, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama’s so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture!

Yo mama’s so lazy, she has a remote for her remote.

Yo mama’s so dumb, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said “Concentrate.”

Yo mama’s so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she walks into the room, the lights go out.

Yo mama’s so fat, she needs a GPS just to find her ankles.

Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

Yo mama’s so short, she can hang-glide on a Dorito.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house.

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she made an onion cry.

Yo mama’s so hairy, when she went to the zoo, the elephants started to play with her hair.

Yo mama’s so poor, when I asked her what’s for dinner, she took off her shoelaces and said “spaghetti.”

Yo mama’s so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wore high heels, she struck oil.

Yo mama’s so slow, she took a year to watch a 60-minute documentary.

Yo mama’s so lazy, she thought a 401k was a road trip.

Yo mama’s so ugly, even the mirror won’t look at her.

Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought the “O” in O.J. was a donut.

Yo mama’s so poor, I saw her kicking a garbage can hoping for a food stamp.

Yo mama’s so short, she has to jump to reach the bottom shelf.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets on the scale, it says “one at a time, please!”

Yo mama’s so hairy, she shaves her legs with a weed whacker.

Yo mama’s so old, she has a signed dinosaur picture.

Yo mama’s so lazy, she takes a nap with her eyes open.

Medium “Yo mama” jokes Jokes

Yo mama’s so big, when she steps on a scale, it says “One at a time, please!” The last time she got on, the scale tried to negotiate with her to step off!

Yo mama’s so old, she knew Captain America when he was just a private. Back in the day, they threw parties and she was the one teaching him how to dance!

Yo mama’s so short, she can do backflips under the bed! Even her problems seem to disappear under there!

Yo mama’s so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention. The last time we went out to eat, she asked for a free refill on hope!

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she walked into a haunted house, she came out with a job application! They said they needed a new scare tactic!

Yo mama’s so fat, she got her own zip code. It’s become our go-to vacation spot—people come from all over just to see the sights!

Yo mama’s so slow, it took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes. By the time it was over, the news was old news!

Yo mama’s so hairy, when she went to shave her legs, she found enough hair to knit a sweater! Guess who’s got winter covered?

Yo mama’s so lazy, she has a remote for her remote. It’s powered by a plug-in to the couch she never leaves!

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund. I had to explain that to her, but she kept trying to return her lunch!

Yo mama’s so poor, her bank account is in the negative, and that’s with a “free trial” on everything! Even she couldn’t believe it!

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she tried to join a selfie campaign, the camera broke! The photographer had to charm the lens back to life to get a shot of anything else!

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a red dress, everyone shouts “Fire!” She turns around and says, “Nope, just me!”

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought a selfie stick was a supportive friend! Now she just takes pictures of inanimate objects!

Yo mama’s so old, she knew the original Jedi. They used to let her practice with the lightsaber while they took their afternoon naps!

Yo mama’s so poor, when I asked her what’s for dinner, she took off her shoelaces and said “Spaghetti.” I guess that spaghetti got stuck on a serious budget!

Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell, the ground shook. People thought it was an earthquake, but really it was just the heavy duty impact!

Yo mama’s so hairy, when she lifted her arms, people began shouting “A Yeti!” People took selfies, and she ended up trending on social media!

Yo mama’s so lazy, she thought a workout was running late! Gave her an early morning alert just to see if she could make it!

Yo mama’s so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off. They were just excited to see some real history walking!

Yo mama’s so fat, when she got on a scale, it said “One at a time, please!” The scale even tried to negotiate with her!

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought the “O” in O.J. stood for “Orange.” Surprise—she only drinks it when there’s cake around!

Long “Yo mama” jokes Stories

Once, Yo mama decided to enter a talent show. When she tried to dance, the floor beneath her started shaking. The announcer got so flustered he yelled, “Just stay still! You’re shaking the whole neighborhood!”

It was a sunny day when Yo mama took her son to the park. As soon as they set foot on the grass, she decided to have a picnic right there. But when she laid out the blanket, it was more like an earthquake warning than a picnic! Kids nearby began retreating, thinking a tsunami was coming!

Yo mama went shopping and decided to try on a dress. The sales assistant warned her, “Might want to look in a 3XL.” Yo mama replied, “Honey, I’m leaving my mark!” When she exited the dressing room, the mirror shattered, and they had to call in a professional with a repair kit!

One day, Yo mama’s car broke down in the middle of a busy highway. Instead of panicking, she opened her trunk and pulled out snacks like it was a buffet! Other drivers started to take selfies with her saying, “This is better than any food truck I’ve ever seen!”

At a family reunion, Yo mama decided to get on the seesaw with her cousin. Nearly caused a UFO sighting! When they got off, the ground looked like a crater, and everyone was asking if they had just found a new mall!

Yo mama went to a fitness class, and when she showed up, the instructor said, “We’re going to do jumping jacks!” Yo mama sighed and replied, “How about we just watch?” The whole class ended up watching much to their delight!

Yo mama went to a bakery to buy a cake. The baker laughed and said, “Are you sure you want that? It’s for a birthday party!” She shrugged, smiled, and said, “Lifetime party!”

One afternoon, Yo mama decided to bake cookies. When her family came home, they thought a fire was breaking out! It turned out she just baked four dozen cookies in one blender. Each cookie was the size of a dinner plate!

At the zoo, Yo mama walked into the reptile house and all the snakes were hissing at her. “Don’t mind them, they just want to talk about diet plans!” she winked. The zookeepers were too busy trying to hold in their laughter!

Every Wednesday, Yo mama offers free advice at the park. One day a man approached her and said, “Your advice is great, but shouldn’t you be qualified?” Yo mama replied, “Qualifications? I’m just sharing wisdom from a lifetime of experience!”

In a restaurant, Yo mama ordered a salad. When it arrived, it looked like it came from a lawn mower! She looked shocked, then shouted, “Surprise vegetables!” and everyone began clapping!

Yo mama was at a garage sale and saw a treadmill. She exclaimed, “Is it a good deal?” The seller replied, “Yeah, if you actually use it!” Yo mama laughed, “Let’s hope it ends up being a great decoration!”

At a movie theater, the tickets were sold out. Yo mama said, “No worries!” and managed to convince the theater manager to set up a new screen outside for everyone—complete with her own popcorn machine!

One chilly evening, Yo mama was sitting outside with her friends, and they were all shivering. She exclaimed, “I got this!” Then, she dramatically teleported back inside and returned wrapped in a comforter as if she had just flown out from a blanket party!

Yo mama found a book on self-improvement and decided to read it. At the family gathering, she dramatically claimed, “The secret to life: it’s all about taking care of yourself!” As a response, everyone gifted her their old snacks—just in case!

Finally, one day Yo mama went back to her old school and gave a speech. She started with, “I once had to figure out my way through life without GPS, now I just use a map!” The students laughed and vowed to never underestimate her stories again!