The Ultimate Resort Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Resort jokes jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of Resort jokes humor.
Short Resort Jokes
Why don’t resorts ever get lost? Because they always know where the shore is!
How do resorts keep their secrets? They put them on a need-to-sand basis!
Why did the beach chair apply for a job? It wanted to take a more permanent seat!
What did the hotel lobby say to the tour bus? “You’re always stopping by!”
Why was the resort so good at goal-setting? It always aimed for the sun!
What do you call a cat at a resort? A purr-riding vacationer!
Why did the palm tree get kicked out of the resort? It was too shady!
What’s a resort’s favorite type of music? Beach tunes, they’re always in the mood to surf!
Why did the vacationer always take his calendar to the resort? To surf on dates!
How do resorts throw a party? They throw it on the beach and let the tide decide the rest!
What did one mountain say to the other at the resort? “I hill you be there!”
Why did the couple break up at the resort? They were just too “tide” down!
How do you organize a fantastic resort vacation? You “plan-elli” it!
What do resorts and comedians have in common? They both love to deliver punchlines!
What did the sun say to the beachgoers? “You crack me up with your sunscreen!”
Why do resorts have great parties? Because they know how to “island” dance!
What do you call a fake beach? A “sham-oda”!
Why don’t secret agents go to resorts? They don’t trust the pools!
What do you call a resort with bad Wi-Fi? A “disconnect resort!”
Why did the iceberg drop out of the resort? It found itself in too much “hot water”!
How do beach resorts prefer their coffee? With a splash of sunny delight!
Medium Resort Jokes
Why did the swimmer break up with his girlfriend at the resort? Because she kept saying she needed more “space.” He replied, “I thought we were just floating together!”
At the resort, a man asked the bartender for something refreshing. The bartender handed him a glass of water. The man chuckled, “I said refreshing, not ‘boring’!” The bartender winked back, “It’s a hot new trend!”
On vacation, a family checked into a fancy resort. The dad asked the receptionist, “What do we do if it rains?” She smiled and replied, “We’ll just have to operate under ‘rain checks’ at our indoor pool!”
A couple was at a resort when the husband declared, “Let’s go skydiving!” The wife said, “I’d rather dive into a pool.” He replied, “Fine, let’s make a splash either way!”
Two friends were at a resort chatting about their favorite activities. One said, “I love sunbathing!” The other replied, “I prefer sun-snoozing. Why work when you can sleep?”
At a luxury resort, a guest noticed the fish in the pond looked depressed. He asked the staff. They said, “They’re just ‘fin-ishing’ their summer vacations!”
A woman asked the resort staff, “What’s the best way to enjoy the beach?” They said, “With a good book and an even better cocktail!”
During his stay, a man tried every pool at the resort. His friend asked, “Why so many pools?” He replied, “I’m just testing the waters!”
A tourist complained about his room at the resort. “I was promised ocean views!” The manager replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll see plenty of ocean… once you step out on the balcony!”
Two brothers went to a resort and challenged each other to a swim race. Afterward, one said, “I think I was faster!” The other replied, “Sure, but I had the better ‘deep end’ strategy!”
Long Resort Stories
During a sunny summer vacation at a tropical resort, a man named Frank decided he wanted to impress everyone with his diving skills. He told everyone he could dive from the highest board. As he ascended, a crowd gathered. With all the bravado he could muster, he launched himself off the board. Midway down, realizing he hadn’t thought through his dive, he flailed his arms. He hit the water with a huge splash! As he came up gasping, his friend shouted, “Now that’s what I call a belly flop!”
At a luxurious resort, a woman named Lucy was having dinner with her husband. With a glass of wine in one hand, she accidentally knocked over her plate, sending spaghetti flying onto a couple at the next table. The couple laughed, and the husband quipped, “Looks like we have a ‘pasta’ incident!” They ended up chatting and sharing tables, creating a new friendship over spaghetti! The moral? Sometimes a mess can lead to delicious connections!
One day at the beach resort, a girl named Sarah was sunbathing when her friend Kelly insisted on going parasailing. Reluctantly, Sarah agreed, but once they’re up in the air, the wind suddenly picked up. Sarah found herself screaming, “This is too much!” To which Kelly yelled back, “Just think of it as your ‘flight insurance’!” They landed with a thud onto the sand, laughing and vowing that next time, they’d stick to beach volleyball.
At the busy resort, a group of friends decided to throw a bonfire night. As they prepared, Mark got really into the mood and started telling ghost stories around the fire. In the midst of one spooky tale, someone shouted, “Look, a shadow!” Instantly, everyone screamed. But as they turned, it was just the hotel mascot, a giant turtle, wandering toward them looking for snacks. They all burst out laughing, exclaiming, “The real horror was our pizza order!”
During a romantic getaway, James decided to create a surprise for his girlfriend, Emily. He ordered a candlelit dinner on the beach. As the sun began to set, everything looked perfect. However, as they sat down to enjoy their meal, a bold seagull swooped down and grabbed a roll right off the table! James, in a flurry, chased after it yelling, “Hey! That was our breadwinner!” Emily laughed uncontrollably, and the meal turned out to be their best moment.
At the resort’s pool, a man was enjoying his cocktail when he noticed a family playing with inflatable dolphins. Curious, he took his drink and joined the fun. As he floated alongside the kids, he pretended to be a dolphin too. One child shouted, “Look, Dad! That guy is a blowfish!” The dad chimed in, “Just make sure he doesn’t inflate his ego!” Everyone laughed, and he became the star of the pool party!
A popular comedian was vacationing at an upscale resort. One evening, he decided to perform an impromptu stand-up routine at the beach. Folks gathered, and he began, “You know you’re at a resort when your greatest worry is whether the cocktail is fruity enough!” The crowd howled, and he went on to share humorous anecdotes about vacation mishaps. It wasn’t long before the beach erupted in laughter, and the resort asked him to feature weekly!
During a lavish poolside brunch, a glamorous woman heard the clink of a spoon falling. She gasped and dramatically said, “Oh no, not the silver!” Her friend, however, pointed out, “Relax! This isn’t a restaurant; it’s a resort—we’re not liable!” The whole table burst into fits of laughter, celebrates knowing they can enjoy a little chaos now and then.
Once in a while, a bored group of friends decided to create a treasure hunt throughout the resort. They spread clues around the premises. As they hunted, a friendly resort staff noticed and decided to play along. He shaped his own clues, leading them from the pool to the spa, adding to the fun! In the end, they followed the final clue, which took them to a picnic setup filled with snacks. One friend exclaimed, “It’s the treasure of friendship!”
A newly married couple was on their honeymoon at a tropical resort. One day, the husband went to the beach saying he’d try to catch a fish for dinner. Hours later, he comes back empty-handed. His wife asks, “Where are the fish?” He grinned, “I was ‘net’ working enough!” But later that night, they enjoyed a lovely seafood dinner – it turned out the chef just wanted to treat them special! They toasted to the best of both worlds!
A retired couple was at a resort celebrating their 50th anniversary. One evening, they participated in a salsa dancing contest. It had been ages since they danced together! As they twirled, they knocked over a large vase. The crowd gasped, but they continued dancing and playfully improvised their moves around the vase. They won the crowd’s affection, if not the contest, proving that love conquers all—even broken decor!
Finally, at a family-friendly resort, a dad tried building a massive sandcastle, hoping to impress his kids. Hours later, he was only half-done when the tide began rolling in. Panic ensued as he yelled, “Quick, everyone, rescue the sandcastle!” The kids giggled and helped him pile sand, and as the waves approached, they held hands, laughing at the impending ‘collapse’. In the end, they decided the memories they made were far more valuable than any castle!