The Ultimate Nun Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Nun jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of Nun jokes humor.
Short Nun Jokes
1. Why did the nun bring a ruler to bed? To see how long she could sleep!
2. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic!
3. Why don’t nuns play poker? They don’t want to deal with the devil!
4. How does a nun keep her dress so white? She uses Holy detergent!
5. Why did the nun go to the gym? To work on her holy abs!
6. What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Holy Rollers!
7. Why did the nun cross the road? To get to the other “mass”!
8. What do you call a nun who’s in charge? A “Sister” of management!
9. Why did the nun join the baseball team? Because she knew how to catch the Holy Ghost!
10. What’s a nun’s favorite dessert? Holy mackerel pie!
11. Why are nuns such great friends? Because they always have your back in prayer!
12. What do you get when you cross a nun and a lawyer? A tight-knit community!
13. Why did the nun start gardening? She wanted to cultivate a little “Peace”!
14. How do nuns stay in shape? By doing “prayer-larity” exercises!
15. What’s a nun’s favorite game? Holy hide and seek!
16. What’s a nun’s favorite vegetable? Holy peppers!
17. Why did the nun take up painting? She wanted to express herself “divinely”!
18. How do nuns keep their hair so tidy? With “heavenly” hairspray!
19. Why don’t nuns use social media? They already have a direct line to the heavenly network!
20. What did one nun say to the other while knitting? “Let’s make a prayer blanket!”
21. Why did the nun get a ticket? For “parking in a holy place”!
22. What do you call a nun who loves to garden? A “sister of the green thumb”!
23. What do you call a nun who can dance? A “Holy mover”!
24. Why did the nun write a book? To share her “holy thoughts”!
25. What did the nun yell during a race? “You have to pray faster!”
26. Why was the nun always calm? Because she had a “sister” complex!
27. How did the nun get into the comedy business? She had a calling for it!
28. Why did the nun refuse to play cards? Because she was afraid of getting “dealt” a bad hand!
29. What did the nun say to the comedian? “That joke was divine!”
30. How do nuns stay positive? They keep the faith, no matter what!
Medium Nun Jokes
1. A group of nuns were playing football. One nun said, “I can’t believe we’re doing this on a Sunday!” The second replied, “Well, we’re just practicing for the ‘holy’ league!”
2. Sister Mary was tending to the gardens when another sister asked, “What are you growing?” She replied, “A new kind of lettuce for the communion, it’s called ‘Heaven’s Greens’!”
3. At a coffee shop, a nun orders a muffin. The barista asks, “What flavor?” She says, “Holy blueberry!” and the barista grinned, “That’s the spirit!”
4. During a charity bake sale, a nun was selling cookies. A customer asked, “What makes these cookies heavenly?” She replied, “They’re blessed with love…and a little cinnamon!”
5. Sister Agnes was known for her cooking. One day she entered a cooking contest and said, “I hope my dish doesn’t ‘fall’ short!”
6. A nun walks into a bar, orders a soda and says, “Just a sip! I’m on the ‘straight and narrow’!” The bartender laughs, “Only Holy Water allowed here!”
7. One evening, a nun was caught speeding. The officer asked, “Do you think you were going a little fast?” The nun responded, “Just trying to keep up with the ‘Holy Spirit’!”
8. At a church service, the priest asked the congregation to pray. Sister Mary raised her hand and yelled, “I’ll pray for cupcakes!” Surprised, the priest asked, “For what reason?” She replied, “Because it’s time for divine sweets!”
9. Sister Lucy was working on a crossword puzzle, struggling with the clue “Devout believer.” Her friend teased, “What’s wrong, Sister? Can’t find a ‘faithful’ match?”
10. Sister Jane and Sister Ann were discussing their favorite holidays. Sister Jane said, “I love Easter because of the chocolate! It’s a time of ‘sweets salvation!’”
11. A nun was at an art gallery and saw a painting labeled “The Last Supper.” She exclaimed to her friend, “I’m sure there were more people eating Holy Bread than just that!”
12. During a history lesson, Sister Pat told her class about ancient Rome. A student asked, “Did they have nuns back then?” Sister Pat replied, “Of course, they had the original ‘Holy Sisters’!”
13. A nun was shopping for groceries and spotted a sale on apples. She exclaimed, “This is a divine deal! It’s an orchard of joy!”
14. Sister Teresa opened a bakery called “Heavenly Delights.” One day she overheard a customer say, “This cake is to die for!” She smiled and replied, “Well, it would be ‘holy’ worth it!”
15. At a book reading, a nun shared her memoirs. One audience member asked, “What’s your secret to happiness?” She said, “Just keep your ‘faith’ alive and ‘joy’ will follow!”
16. One day, a nun went hiking and got lost. She prayed for help and suddenly saw a sign pointing her way. She said, “Thank you, God! You really do provide ‘guidance’!”
17. At a church potluck, Sister Mary shared her famous casserole. Someone said, “Wow, this is heavenly!” She replied, “I call it ‘Celestial Comfort Food!’”
18. Sister Claire was knitting a scarf during a prayer meeting. Someone asked, “What are you making?” She replied, “A ‘holy’ gift for the winter!”
19. A nun was giving a lecture on kindness. She said, “Remember, a little act of kindness is a ‘blessing’ in disguise!”
20. During a community picnic, a nun was caught trying to win a pie-eating contest. When asked why, she said, “Because it’s good to have some ‘heavenly’ fun!”
Long Nun Jokes Stories
1. Sister Agnes was hosting a bake sale for the community. She decided to make her famous chocolate chip cookies. On the day of the sale, she was busy baking when Sister Mary walked in, bewildered by the smell. “What are you up to, Agnes?” she asked. Agnes replied, “Making cookies that’ll bring everyone to the yard!” Mary chuckled, “Let’s hope they’re as divine as the ‘Holy Spirit’!” When the sale happened, the cookies sold out quickly, and the two sisters celebrated with a pot of tea, agreeing that, indeed, cookies were a divine blessing!
2. One Sunday, during mass, Father John noticed Sister Lucy attempting to use sign language with a deaf parishioner. Puzzled, he approached her after service and asked, “Sister, why are you using sign language?” Sister Lucy smiled and replied, “I’m on a mission to make sure everyone hears the ‘good news!’” Father John laughed and said, “Well, you’ve certainly gained the Father’s attention!”
3. Sister Mary and Sister Barbara were attending a church conference. Sister Mary, known for her crafting skills, had decided to showcase her handcrafted holy decorations. When it was time to present, Sister Barbara joked, “Let’s hope your crafts ‘raise’ the spirits!” Sister Mary laughed, “If they don’t, I’ll just pray they do!” The audience response was overwhelming, and Sister Mary learned that a little laughter goes a long way in sharing faith.
4. In a small town, the local diner announced a “Holy Food Challenge.” The challenge was to eat a stack of pancakes taller than a nun. Sister Agnes, known for her humor, decided to join. When she faced the stack of pancakes, she smiled and said, “I’ll pray for strength!” With the eyes of the town upon her, she devoured the pancakes and became the first nun to win the challenge. “I guess you could say I’ve ‘risen’ to the occasion!” she exclaimed, leaving everyone in stitches.
5. During a retreat, a group of nuns went hiking. Sister Margaret was the most adventurous and led them up a steep hill. As they reached the top, she exclaimed, “Look at this view! Isn’t it ‘heavenly’?” Sister Joan replied, “What a blessing to have the strength to climb this holy hill!” They all laughed and shared a moment of gratitude, realizing that sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination.
6. One evening, Sister Jean decided to start a ‘spiritual book club.’ On the first meeting, she found Sister Rose reading a mystery novel. Sister Jean frowned and said, “Rose, this is a spiritual book club!” Sister Rose replied, “It’s all about the ‘spirituality’ of finding the truth!” After some laughter, they realized that every story can lead to a moral, whether it’s fiction or faith.
7. During a talent show, Sister Pat showcased her ability to juggle. As she kept tossing the objects in the air, Sister Mary yelled, “You’re trying to ‘balance’ your holy duties!” The audience erupted in laughter. After finishing, Sister Pat took a bow and thanked her fellow sisters, claiming that balancing faith and fun is always possible!
8. Sister Ellen decided to start an exercise class called “Holy Yoga.” On the first day, she had a handful of nuns, each giggling as they tried their stretches. Sister Philomena said, “I never thought I’d be doing ‘downward dog’ in a habit!” Sister Ellen laughed and said, “Well, we may need to modify it to ‘downward prayer!’” The class was a hit, and they felt closer to God with each pose.
9. At a church picnic, a contest for the best holy fruit salad was announced. Sister Julie had a secret recipe, but she was nervous. On the day of the contest, she added a bit of prayer into her mixture. When the judges tasted it, one exclaimed, “This is truly divine!” Sister Julie beamed and said, “I think the ‘blessing’ worked!”
10. During a mission trip, a group of nuns arrived at a small village. They realized the local children had no toys. Sister Claire, with her craft skills, suggested they create toys from recycled materials. The children were thrilled, and as they played, Sister Claire quoted, “It’s the ‘joy’ of giving that counts.” Their hearts swelled with gratitude as they witnessed the genuine happiness in the children’s laughter.
11. One day, Sister Mary decided to paint a mural on the church wall. She wanted it to depict the fruits of the Spirit. As she painted, the other sisters gathered around, offering encouragement and jokes. Sister Agnes quipped, “How about adding some ‘joy’ and ‘peace’?” Sister Mary smiled and responded, “I’m including ‘patience’—one stroke at a time!” Everyone chuckled, realizing art really was a labor of love.
12. Sister Teresa was learning to play the guitar to lead songs during service. After weeks of practice, she was ready for her debut. On the day, she strummed the first chord and fumbled, causing Sister Joan to shout, “What a heavenly ‘noise’!” As everyone laughed, Sister Teresa jokingly replied, “Well, they say the first ‘sacred’ notes are always the hardest!”
13. In the middle of a community project, Sister Agnes was digging a garden. Sister Mary joined in, and they began talking. Suddenly, Sister Mary humorously remarked, “Are we planting ‘seeds of faith’ or flowers?” Sister Agnes smiled, “Both! Let’s cultivate ‘growth’ in every sense.” Their laughter turned the work into a joyful task!
14. During a winter retreat, the nuns decided to build a snowman. Sister Clara commented, “Let’s make him look as pious as we are!” After hours of crafting, their snowman wore a makeshift habit, and Sister Joan said, “He really is the ‘frosty’ sister of our faith!”
15. A nun encountered a little boy who asked, “Are you really a sister?” She smiled and said, “Yes, I’m a sister to everyone!” The boy thought for a moment and asked, “So, where’s your brother?” Sister smiled and replied, “We prefer the ‘sisterhood’ around here!”
16. One day, Sister Lucy decided to hold a talent show among the nuns. Each nun showcased unique talents, but the highlight was Sister Agnes’s ventriloquism. The audience laughed when Sister Agnes’s puppet shared a prayer, “God bless the holy fun!”
17. A group of nuns decided to take a cooking class. While they struggled with the recipes, Sister Barbara said, “Next time, let’s stick to ‘heavenly’ pies!” Everyone laughed, and they agreed—baking is just as much an art as faith!
18. During a class on charity, Sister Jane shared a story about helping the homeless. She said, “One must remember, every act of kindness is akin to a prayer.” Suddenly, Sister Anna piped in, “So, can I pray for more tacos?”
19. At an outdoor gathering, Sister Margaret caught a butterfly on her finger and said, “What a beautiful reminder of transformation!” Sister Ann joked, “Just remember, no ‘flapping’ during service!” They giggled, realizing the beauty of spiritual lessons everywhere.
20. And so, the weekly puzzle night commenced among the nuns. Each sister pitched in, sharing stories and laughter as they solved challenges. Sister Clare exclaimed, “It’s a ‘holy’ night of fellowship!” as they bonded over every piece fitting together perfectly.