The Ultimate Neighbor Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Neighbor jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of neighbor humor.
Short Neighbor Jokes
Why did the neighbor bring a ladder to my house? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
My neighbor thinks I’m a stalker. Well, he’s the one who moved next to my house!
Why don’t neighbors play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they keep calling out your name!
I told my neighbor I was going to bed early; he said, “Good luck with that!”
Neighbors are like Wi-Fi; you might not see them, but you know when they’re close!
My neighbor asked me to water their plants while they were on vacation. I told them I’d rather water their fridge!
What do you call a friendly neighbor? An oxymoron!
Why did the neighbor bring a pencil to the party? They wanted to draw some attention!
My neighbor says I’m crazy, but I’m not the one talking to squirrels!
My neighbor mows their lawn at midnight. Talk about a cutting-edge routine!
Why did the neighbor stare at their watch? Because they just couldn’t find the time to stop annoying me!
I thought I had great neighbors until I caught them using my pool without asking. Now they’re just “that family!”
My neighbor claims he’s a birdwatcher. I told him I think he’s just spying on me!
Why did the neighbor bring string to my house? To “tie” the friendship closer!
Ever heard of a neighborly dispute over the fence? It’s always a matter of turf war!
My neighbors made a bet on who could be the loudest. I think I lost!
What did my neighbor say right after I poured cement on my side of the fence? “You’re a solid friend!”
I wanted to borrow a cup of sugar from my neighbor, but it ended up being a cup of drama!
Why did my neighbor always bring a broom to our conversations? Because they loved to “sweep” things under the rug!
Every time my neighbor has a barbecue, I get grilled too!
My neighbor started a business selling fences. Guess you could say it’s a real boundary issue!
The only thing louder than my neighbors is the sound of my sanity slipping away!
Why did the neighbor always carry a pencil behind their ear? In case they needed to sketch out a new plan for getting along!
Medium Neighbor Jokes
What’s the difference between my neighbor and a tornado? When a tornado comes through, I can at least get some peace and quiet afterward!
Last week, my neighbor played music loudly. I thought about calling the cops, but then I realized the cops probably wouldn’t enjoy their taste in music either!
I asked my neighbor how they keep their garden so perfect. They just smiled and said, “It’s all in the friendly discussions with the ladybugs!”
My neighbor got a new dog. Now I know where all my shoes went—Sparky thinks they’re chew toys!
The other day, my neighbor said they were moving. I said, “When?” They replied, “I don’t know yet.” I told them they might want to pack a little faster!
When I moved into my new neighborhood, my neighbor welcomed me with cookies. Then I saw them on the fence trying to get my attention again—turns out they just love to “hang out!”
My neighbor was mowing the lawn when I asked if he needed help—he said, “No, but can you help me come up with an excuse for when my wife comes home?”
Every time my neighbor tells me they’re trimming their trees, I know it’s just code for, “I’m about to snoop on your backyard!”
Why do my neighbors keep asking me if I want to join their gardening club? I told them I’m more of a “sit on the porch” person!
The other day, one of my neighbors asked to borrow my lawnmower. I said sure, but now they think they can borrow my sanity too!
Why did my neighbor always shout into their mailbox? I guess they thought it was a post office hotline!
After moving in, my neighbor asked me if I wanted to fence the yard—I said “sure,” but I think they just wanted a reason to knock me out of the conversation!
Every time I smell barbecue, I look outside to see if it’s my neighbor. Turns out, it’s always the same—too many burgers, not enough friends!
My neighbor says he’s always up for a friendly chat, but I suspect it’s code for gathering gossip!
Whenever I hear a dog barking next door, I tell myself the gossip from the neighborhood is barking right back!
What’s worse than a noisy neighbor? A noisy neighbor with a karaoke machine!
My neighbor said he’s been practicing for a local talent show. I told him, “Well, you’re already a ‘neighbor’ in the spotlight!”
Why did my neighbor stand outside with a megaphone? I think they were trying to announce their side of the fence dispute for all to hear!
My neighbor tried to make small talk while I was busy watering my plants. I told them, “Hey, I’m rooting for a little less chatter!”
The key to a friendly neighborhood is a solid fence; the key to my sanity is staying on my side of it!
Long Neighbor Jokes Stories
One summer evening, I was sitting on my porch enjoying the peace when my neighbor showed up with a weird look on his face. “I think my dog is trying to dig a tunnel!” he said, exasperated. I told him he should probably let the dog finish so he can sell tickets!
Once, I borrowed a ladder from my neighbor. Two hours later, I found him standing in my yard saying, “You know, I always wanted a pet giraffe!” I guess he had no idea why I needed that ladder!
The other day, my neighbor knocked on my door holding a plate of cookies. “I just wanted to introduce myself,” she said. Before I could take a bite, she added, “Oh, by the way, if you have any complaints—this is my house!” I wasn’t sure if I should thank her or move away!
Last Halloween, my neighbor decorated his yard with so many skeletons, I was convinced he was auditioning for a horror movie. I took the liberty to dress up as a pirate and knocked on his door. He wasn’t as scared as I thought; instead, he handed me a skeleton key!
Once my neighbor had a yard sale. I showed up hoping to find some treasures. Instead, I walked away with a vase labeled “Feng Shui”—and a very different view of my neighbor!
There was a time when my neighbor decided to have a wild party. I heard the noise from my yard which prompted me to join in. Apparently, they were friendly enough to offer me a drink—though I’m pretty sure it was just lemonade spiked with drama!
When my neighbor decided to build a treehouse, I suggested he might want to install a lookout. He laughed and said, “Why? So I can see the people not waving back at me?”
My neighbor bought a new car, and while I was admiring it, he exclaimed, “Hey, do you like my new wheels?” I replied, “Yeah, but do you have any good jokes to go with it?” We ended up trading car stories instead!
One time, I overheard my neighbor practicing stand-up comedy in his living room. I knocked on his door and said, “You know, if you keep that up, I might just start charging admission!”
I once tried to surprise my neighbor for their birthday, but I tripped over the flowerpot and landed right at their feet. “This is one way to make an entrance!” they shouted, laughing as they pulled out a piece of cake!
My neighbor invited me over for a barbecue. Halfway through dinner, they brought out a salad and jokingly said, “This is just here to help you feel less guilty about the burgers!” I told them, “If guilt had a smell, I’m pretty sure it would smell like that salad!”
At the neighborhood potluck, I overheard my neighbor say that “sharing is caring.” I told them my plate was single, thank you very much!
One day my neighbor asked if they could borrow my cat for a photoshoot. I told them, “Sure, but if you start charging for those photos, I want a cut!”
After moving in, I thought my neighbor was a wizard because of all the loud noises coming from their house late at night. Turns out, they were just learning how to play the bagpipes!
On a rainy day, I checked on my neighbor to see if they needed anything. I walked in on them wrapped in a blanket watching a cheesy soap opera. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t drowning in emotional turmoil!” I joked!
My neighbor started a book club and invited me. I said, “Only if no one minds my habit of bringing popcorn!” Turns out, they didn’t mind; they loved the added drama on top of the reading material!
During a snowstorm, my neighbor called to ask if I could clear the snow off their driveway. I said, “Sure, but I’ll also be expecting free hot chocolate!” To which they replied, “Deal! And make mine with extra marshmallows!”