The Ultimate Mother-in-law Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Mother-in-law jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of Mother-in-law humor.
Short Mother-in-law Jokes
1. My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.
2. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house. She said, “Fine! I’ll move in!”
3. I threw a boomerang at my mother-in-law… I know it’ll come back eventually!
4. My mother-in-law is a wonderful woman. I’d take her to dinner… if I weren’t already married.
5. What’s the difference between an outlaw and my mother-in-law? Outlaws are wanted!
6. My wife asked me, “How do you put up with my mother?” I said, “I bought earplugs!”
7. I asked my mother-in-law for a book on how to deal with annoying people. She gave me a mirror!
8. Every time my mother-in-law visits, I get a new set of grey hairs!
9. My mother-in-law is like a software update: Whenever she comes, I want to say “Not now!”
10. I told my friends that my mother-in-law is just like a tornado: She shows up, takes everything, and leaves!
11. When I see my mother-in-law coming, it’s time to check my watch… because time slows down!
12. My mother-in-law puts the “fun” in dysfunctional!
13. What do you call a mother-in-law that doesn’t nag? A unicorn!
14. My mother-in-law has this incredible talent: she can cut a family gathering short—simply by showing up!
15. I asked my mother-in-law what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Nothing!” That’s a dangerous game!
16. My mother-in-law must be a magician… because she can turn any pleasant moment into a tense one!
17. They say that a mother-in-law’s advice is priceless! That’s why I never take it!
18. My mother-in-law is so generous; she gives me free therapy every time she visits!
19. My mother-in-law thinks she’s a life coach. I call her an accident waiting to happen!
20. The only time my mother-in-law smiled was when I suggested playing hide-and-seek!
21. My mother-in-law’s cooking is like a software update. It always takes longer than expected!
22. When my mother-in-law visits, I make sure to stock up on chocolate… it’s the only way I get through it!
23. My mother-in-law’s advice is like GPS—usually wrong but always given!
24. What does my mother-in-law and a bad joke have in common? They both won’t end until you say, “That’s enough!”
25. I told my mother-in-law to take a hike! She took a bus—now she’s staying with us!
26. I love my mother-in-law… from a distance! Preferably, very far away!
27. My mother-in-law thinks I’m rude for ignoring her. I think she’s rude for breathing!
28. What’s worse than a mother-in-law? A mother-in-law with advice on how to raise your kids!
29. My mother-in-law has a knack for always being right. I wish she’d use that talent elsewhere!
30. What did my mother-in-law say when I asked if I could leave early? “Of course, just don’t come back!”
Medium Mother-in-law Jokes
1. My mother-in-law came over the other day and asked if I could help her with her Internet. I said, “Sure! What seems to be the problem?” She replied, “I can’t find my email!” I asked her what she meant, and she said, “I can’t find the bit that sends the email…” You know, I think we need to start with basics!
2. I was really excited to have dinner with my in-laws last night. Then, I walked in and realized my mother-in-law had made that mystery casserole again! You know the one—the one that has everything but a recipe! Thankfully, I had a sandwich stashed away for emergencies.
3. My mother-in-law gives the best advice. Last week, she said, “If you want to get ahead in life, you have to keep your mouth shut!” I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the advice she used to get where she is today!
4. My mother-in-law believes she is a great cook, but the last time I visited, I felt like I was part of a cooking show gone wrong! Her secret ingredient for every dish seemed to be “salt.” I’m still trying to wash the taste out of my mouth!
5. I met my mother-in-law for coffee today, and she started talking about family planning. I jokingly said, “What should we plan for next, then? A family reunion that I don’t want to attend?” She took me seriously and started listing places to book. Yikes!
6. One time, I asked my mother-in-law why she always thinks life is a competition. She said, “Because it is!” I must have missed the memo on that. I didn’t realize family dinners were Hunger Games!
7. For my birthday, my mother-in-law got me a brand new vacuum cleaner. Not exactly the gift I had in mind! When I thanked her, she said, “I just thought you could use it—it will help you clean up all those crumbs from your jokes!” Now that’s a low blow!
8. At family gatherings, my mother-in-law usually has two roles: chief storyteller and chief critic. At one gathering, she told a story about how I once tried to bake a cake. “It looked like a science experiment!” she exclaimed. I can’t believe she shared that in front of everyone!
9. The last time my mother-in-law came over, she started going through my spice rack and began lecturing me on how I was using everything wrong. I had to remind her that this isn’t Cooking 101, and I’m not her student anymore!
10. The last time my mother-in-law babysat, we came home to find her attempting yoga with the kids. I walked in to find her stuck in downward dog, and the kids thought it was hilarious. I don’t think she realized that yoga wasn’t part of her job description!
11. I asked my mother-in-law what she wanted for her birthday. After thinking for a while, she said, “Oh, just the key to your heart.” I laughed and said, “I think that’s the last thing you want!”
12. My mother-in-law always claims to be the family historian. Last Thanksgiving, she brought out a giant scrapbook—her riveting story began with her first trip to the grocery store. I began to question the validity of family history!
13. The other day, my mother-in-law suggested starting a family book club. “We’ll read the classics and discuss your faults!” she added. I told her I’d be too busy reading the ingredients on her casserole!
14. My mother-in-law always tells me, “The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I told her, “Funny, the last time you cooked for me, I almost lost my heart!”
15. I was on the phone with my mother-in-law, and she said, “I have some great news! I’m getting a smart TV!” I said, “That’s fantastic! Finally, technology is on your side!” She replied, “Nope, it just refuses to work with me!”
16. One family dinner, my mother-in-law asked me if I knew why she likes her cooking so much. I said, “Nope, why?” She said, “Because it’s the only time I get compliments!”
17. My mother-in-law thinks she can cook spaghetti better than me. So, for her next birthday, I brought store-bought spaghetti and gave it to her as a ‘homemade’ gift. She didn’t even notice!
18. My mother-in-law once told me that to keep a happy home, you need to bite your tongue. I said, “That’s a bit spicy for my taste!”
19. I took my mother-in-law on a weekend getaway, and the plans fell through. I asked what we should do instead, and she said, “We can go home, but I’d prefer to make a memory about the failed trip!” I think memories of failed trips need a trip of their own!
20. One day while my mother-in-law was at my house, I decided to surprise her with breakfast. I burnt the toast, spilled juice, and broke a plate. When she walked in, she burst out laughing and said, “At least you’re consistent!”
Long Mother-in-law Joke Stories
1. My mother-in-law loves to have dinner with us every Sunday. I’ve tried inviting friends or going out, but no, she insists on cooking! One day, I decided to do the unexpected. I made lasagna and claimed it was an old family recipe. She took one bite and said, “Who taught you to make this? A raccoon?” It was then that I realized I should have just ordered pizza instead!
2. So, my wife and I decided to host a barbecue, and we invited my mother-in-law. I was grilling burgers when she came out, looked at the meat, and started lecturing me about “the right way” to grill. I politely nodded along, grabbed a spatula, and flipped it. But when I turned around, I saw her holding a plate with ketchup and mustard like a judge at a cooking competition! I just handed her the tongs and walked away!
3. I once thought it would be a great idea to ask my mother-in-law to teach me how to bake cookies. I naively thought it would be a bonding experience. Little did I know, she had her own “secret recipe”—pepper! After the cookies came out, I was shocked at the flavor. “What did you do?” I asked. She smiled and said, “Just following the recipe!” I think I’ll stick to brownies from now on!
4. Whenever my wife and I went on vacation, my mother-in-law would stay at our house to watch the pets. One time, I come home to find the house reorganized, and the pets were acting weird. I asked her what happened, and she said, “I cleaned!” I marveled at how organized the closet was until I realized my favorite shoes were missing! She claimed they were unsightly. They went straight to the donation box!
5. My mother-in-law loves to reminisce about the “good old days” during family dinners. She says, “Everything was simpler back then!” I was just about to agree when she said, “We didn’t have social media; we just had to shout at our disagreements!” Suddenly, I felt grateful for online arguments!
6. One day, my mother-in-law invited us over for dinner. Naturally, my wife and I reluctantly obliged. When we arrived, we were greeted with a table full of food. The catch? My mother-in-law had decided to recreate a restaurant menu. I attempted to comment on how beautiful the setup was, but she interrupted with, “Did you find all the ingredients on sale?” My wife and I traded looks that said, “It’s time to go!”
7. I had gone to a family gathering that my mother-in-law was hosting. After an endless parade of food, she gets everyone together for a photo. She stands on a chair and yells about how she’s “the matriarch.” I couldn’t resist whispering to my wife, “More like ‘the queen of casseroles!’” She burst out laughing, and we both got scolded for not showing proper respect!
8. My mother-in-law has a peculiar knack for giving unsolicited advice. One day, after a complicated day at work, I went to her house for dinner. She noticed my tired expression and immediately gave me her take on balancing work and life. I tried to nod, but soon realized I was in a lengthy lecture on “the importance of staying busy.” All I could think was, “And here I thought cooking was the only exhausting part!”
9. I invited my mother-in-law to pick out plants for our garden. As the day progressed, she had picked a wild array of strange and exotic plants. I had to keep a straight face while internally questioning if I was getting a garden or a jungle! When it came time to plant, I realized I should’ve let her stick to the plastic ones!
10. My mother-in-law watches every home improvement show. One day, I saw a great idea for adding shelves, so I thought I’d try it. Little did I know, my mother-in-law had an “expert opinion.” She arrived at my house, tape measure in hand, and promptly disagreed with my layout. Left feeling defeated, I abandoned the project mid-way and decided that art and decor are not worth the power struggle!
11. So, my wife and I finally decided to tell my mother-in-law that we were expecting a baby. We thought it would be heartwarming and sweet. Instead, she spent the evening telling us 17,000 baby names she has already decided on! By the end of dinner, all I could think was that I might have to book a longer trip to avoid answering!
12. On my birthday, my mother-in-law decided to bake me a cake as a surprise. When I cut into it, I was shocked to discover it was a fruitcake! I politely smiled and took a bite but nearly choked down one of those “mystery fruits.” I turned to her and said, “Wow! You made a classic!” to which she replied, “Of course, I wanted to remind you of your age!”
13. Every time my mother-in-law visits, she brings her dog, Elvis. At first, I was excited, but soon realized Elvis acts like he owns the place! One day, I walked into my living room just in time to see Elvis sitting in my favorite chair! I chuckled and moved him only to have my mother-in-law scold me, “That’s his seat!” I never felt so inferior to a dog!
14. One holiday season, my mother-in-law decided to start a tradition where every family member would share their “worst Christmas gift.” I thought, “Surely, I won’t be like that!” But when it was my turn, I couldn’t resist telling the story about the tacky sweater she gave me last year. The room erupted with laughter, and I realized traditions do have a funny way of turning against you!
15. My mother-in-law believes she has a second sense when it comes to detecting “bad vibes.” One day, during family dinner, she felt the need to point out how everyone seemed “off.” I had to suppress a laugh as she reminded us, “These “bad vibes” could ruin dinner!” Finally, I leaned over and said, “Maybe it’s just your casserole, Mom!”
16. During a family trip, my mother-in-law insisted we play a scavenger hunt. She handed us a list that included everything from “The next best-selling author” to “A walking stereotype.” My wife and I looked at each other and chuckled, knowing all we needed to do was point to Mom! Turns out, scavenger hunts can lead to unexpected surprises!
17. Last Thanksgiving, my mother-in-law brought her “secret cranberry sauce.” After tasting it, I regretted asking for the recipe! When I asked what made it so special, her answer was, “It’s a family tradition!” I was pretty sure family traditions weren’t supposed to include gummy bears! But, hey, let gravity take its course!
18. One summer, my mother-in-law offered to teach me how to fish. I accepted happily, envisioning an idyllic day by the lake. Unfortunately, the entire day was filled with her yelling at me for using the “wrong bait.” I left the fishing trip realizing my patience rivaled that of any fishing line!
19. So, my mother-in-law always wants to share her terrible puns. One day, she said, “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won a Nobel prize!” Later, she said she wasn’t responsible for my laughter and quickly moved on to her favorite topic—her delusional gardening skills!
20. My mother-in-law once faced a minor injury while operating the blender in my kitchen. The next day, she was loudly recounting the “trauma” to the family and ended with, “At least my scars are from high-stakes blending!” We were all in disbelief, realizing she was capable of making anything a dramatic event!