The Ultimate Hotel Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of hotel jokes! We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of hotel humor.
Short Hotel Jokes
Why did the hotel clerk break up with his girlfriend? She wanted him to be more of a “suite” guy!
I asked the hotel receptionist if they had a room with a view. They said, “Yes, if you can see through the wall!”
Why don’t hotels ever tell secrets? Because they can’t keep their doors from being ajar!
My room at the hotel had a “Do Not Disturb” sign. So, I didn’t disturb it!
Why did the scarecrow stay at the hotel? He was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a hotel that’s always getting robbed? A “take-away” inn!
A hotel is just a big house with little houses inside it!
Have you heard about the hotel with the best pillows? They were “unbe-leaf-ably” comfortable!
The motel next door has such bad service, even the Wi-Fi has connection issues!
Why did the math book check into the hotel? It had too many problems!
What did the ghost say when checking into the hotel? “I’m just here for a boo-tiful stay!”
Why don’t hotels serve chicken? They can’t handle the “pecking” order!
I walked into a hotel and asked for a room with two beds. They told me that I could only use one at a time!
Why did the computer stay at the hotel? It needed a space to “download”!
I tried to tell a hotel joke to my friends, but they said it was too cheesy!
Why did the tomato turn red at the hotel? It saw the salad dressing!
Did you hear about the hotel with the worst breakfast? They served only “eggs-pectations”!
Why did the hotel chef get fired? He couldn’t find the “thyme”!
How do you organize a space party in a hotel? You “planet”!
What’s a hotel’s favorite game? “Room Service”!
Why did the bear check into the hotel? He wanted to hibernate in comfort!
What do you call a fancy hotel for cows? The “moo-tel”!
Medium Hotel Jokes
A guest walks into a hotel and asks the receptionist, “Do you have any vacancies?” The receptionist replies, “Sure, but they’re all filled up with guests who checked in but never checked out!”
At the hotel’s restaurant, a man orders the lobster. The waiter comes back and says, “I’m sorry, but that lobster has left the building!” The man replies, “Well, I guess I’ll have to settle for the ‘crabby’ cakes.”
A couple checks into a hotel and finds there’s no hot water. The husband complains to the manager, “There’s no hot water!” The manager shrugs and says, “Well, at least it’s ‘cool’ in here!”
Two friends are checking into a fancy hotel. The first one boasts, “I’ll just put it on my credit card.” The second replies, “Why? Is the hotel easier to get into than us?”
A comedian was booked for a stay at a hotel. When he arrived, he noticed the sign in his room read, “Comedy in progress.” He thought, “Wow, I didn’t know the punchlines were included!”
A guest asked the hotel staff, “What’s the Wi-Fi password?” The reply was, “You need to book a room to find out!” The guest replied, “I didn’t realize I had to pay for connection!”
A business traveler walks into a hotel and immediately asks for an upgrade. The receptionist looks at him and says, “Sorry, sir, but your ‘suit’ just doesn’t make the cut!”
A guy walks into a hotel bar looking really down. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The guy replies, “I just checked out of my life!”
A woman calls the front desk in the middle of the night. “There’s a strange noise coming from the air conditioner!” The receptionist replies, “Don’t worry, ma’am. That’s just our ghost keeping it cool!”
A family checks into a hotel with a pool. The child runs up to the front desk, “Do you offer swim lessons?” The desk clerk nods and replies, “Only on rainy days!”
A husband and wife check into a hotel for their anniversary. The wife says, “Surprise me!” The husband replies, “Dear, this hotel is a surprise enough!”
A couple of honeymooners checks into a romantic hotel. The husband asks the receptionist, “We want a room with a view!” The receptionist replies, “It’s a little awkward, but you’re going to have to look at each other!”
A man stays at a hotel where the shower head is too low. He complains to the manager, “I can’t shower properly!” The manager replies, “Well, you’re not exactly tall in ‘person’ either!”
After a long day, a traveler checks into a motel and feels tired. He says to the receptionist, “I need a king room!” The receptionist says, “Sir, all our rooms are ‘crowned’ with comfort!”
A man asked the receptionist at a hotel, “What is the best thing about your establishment?” The receptionist replied, “The ‘reservations’ where you get a taste of peace!”
A hotel guest flagged down a waiter during breakfast. “This coffee is cold!” The waiter replied, “I guess we offer ‘frosted’ coffee now!”
A traveler asks the hotel manager about the check-out time. The manager replies, “It’s at 11 a.m., but check-in is at your own pace!”
A family stays in a hotel with a haunted room. The father says, “Why don’t we just check out?” The mother replies, “Because it’s too ‘spook-tacular’ to leave!”
A man checked into a hotel with a broken leg. The receptionist said, “Don’t worry, we have elevators!” The man replied, “I can handle the stairs, they’re just hard to ‘leg’ it up!”
A traveler walks into a hotel and says, “I don’t want a fancy room!” The receptionist replies, “Don’t worry, every room here is a ‘suite’ disaster!”
Long Hotel Jokes Stories
A businessman arrives at a hotel after a long flight, exhausted and looking for relaxation. He checks into a suite and immediately decides to order room service. He calls the front desk and orders a sandwich. After about 45 minutes, he starts to get impatient. He dials again, “Where’s my food?” The receptionist apologizes and says it’s on its way. Just then, the doorbell rings. Excited, he opens the door only to find a hotel employee standing with a huge sandwich and a side of fries. “Here’s your order, sir,” the employee says. “And the chef said you should enjoy it quickly because it was very ‘filling’!”
During a family vacation, a dad checks into a hotel with his kids. Excited, they run to the pool, but once they get there, they find it packed with people. The dad sighs and tells his kids, “I guess we could try the game room instead.” Once in the game room, all the games are out of order. Discouraged, he mutters, “Maybe we should try the room with the view.” But when they arrive at their room, they find the view obstructed by the neighboring building. Finally, he suggests, “How about we just stay in the room and watch TV?” To which his daughter replies, “Dad, at this rate, we might as well have stayed home!”
On a business trip, a woman arrives at a hotel and goes to her room. She’s tired and wants a quick nap. However, every time she lies down, the phone rings. Annoyed, she calls the front desk and asks them to stop the calls. The manager accidentally calls her room and, hearing her frustration, insists on sending her a complimentary bottle of wine. But with the clumsiness of the staff, they mistakenly send her sparkling water. When it arrives, she laughs and writes a note back to the manager saying, “Thanks for the bubbly, but I was hoping for something a little more ‘grape-ful!’”
A man checks into a themed hotel that promises a unique experience. Upon entering, he realizes every room is decorated like a different decade. He is in the 70s room, complete with disco balls. Curious, he steps into the 80s room to see neon colors and cassette tapes. He meets a quirky hotel employee who says, “Here, every day is a party! Just be prepared to boogie!” Excitedly, he tells her he loves dancing. That night, he ends up at a themed party with everyone dressed up, and he wins the disco dance competition! The next morning, he hilariously receives a certificate titled “Best Moves in Hotel Grooves!”
A traveler checks into a hotel after a long drive and asks if they have any discounted rooms. The receptionist smiles and says, “We have a special right now, but it comes with a ‘catch’!” Intrigued, he asks what the catch is. “You’ll have to share the room with a duck!” Laughing, he agrees, thinking it’s all in good fun. Later, he discovers that every night at 8 PM, the duck insists on ‘quacking’ like it’s singing a lullaby! The man tells the staff, “I expected no sleep, but this is just too ‘quacky’!”
A couple checks into an old-fashioned hotel that prides itself on ghost stories. The staff tells them about the resident ghost, whom they affectionately call “Cynthia.” The wife teases, “I’m not afraid of ghosts!” Later that night, they hear odd noises. The husband, trying to impress her, says, “Don’t worry, that’s just Cynthia trying to be friendly!” Curious, the wife asks him to investigate. As he switches on the light, he accidentally knocks over a vase, and it shatters. They both gasp, and suddenly, a voice says, “Now you’ve really ‘spooked’ me!” They scream and run out of the room, only to find out it was just the night manager playing a prank!
On a busy week, a man and his family check into a hotel during a big convention. Upon entering their room, they realize it’s tiny and cluttered. The dad complains to the front desk, “I booked a family suite!” The receptionist apologizes and says they’ll find them a bigger room. Twenty minutes later, they are moved to a lavish suite with a view of the city. Excited, his wife says, “Finally, we can relax!” Just then, there’s a knock on the door. It’s a delivery of complimentary chocolate-covered strawberries. Overjoyed, the dad says, “Okay, I might just be ready to sign another year here!”
A woman decides to treat her husband to a stay in a fancy hotel for his birthday. They arrive, and he is amazed at the luxury. The staff greets him with a birthday song and gives him a complimentary cake. Intrigued, he asks, “Do you do this for all the guests?” The receptionist winks and replies, “Only for the ones who let us know it’s their special day!” Later that evening, they decide to have dinner at the hotel’s restaurant. During their meal, they overhear a couple at another table complaining about their food. The husband cracks a joke, saying, “Maybe they thought it was our birthday too because this food’s a ‘cake-walk’!”
A man on a road trip pulls into a motel late at night. He just needs a place to sleep before resuming his journey. As he fills out the registration, he notices a sign that says, “Laundry room open 24 hours.” He thinks, “Great! I can do my laundry in the morning.” After a quick check-in, he heads to his room, only to discover that his clothes are in the trunk, and he doesn’t want to deal with it tonight. The next morning, he goes to the laundry room — and it’s filled with quirky guests folding their clothes and gossiping. He tries to get his laundry done quickly, but somehow ends up joining their hilarious conversations, laughing so hard that he forgets his travel plans!
A father books a family vacation at a charming hotel near the beach. Upon arrival, he notices the beach is just a jellyfish sanctuary, and the kids are frightened. Trying to make the best of it, he tells his children, “Look! They are just ‘medusas’ on vacation!” The family decides to enjoy the hotel’s pool instead. They set up floaties and start splashing around when suddenly the power goes out. At first, everyone panics, but then the staff brings out candles and throws an impromptu pool party! The father laughs, realizing sometimes the best memories come from unexpected situations!
A guest checks into a mountain lodge and gets a room with a spectacular view. He decides to spend the evening on the balcony enjoying the scenery. While he’s sipping hot cocoa, he realizes he has no snacks. The hotel’s snack shop is closed! He jokingly calls the front desk and says, “I think I’m suffering from a case of the ‘munchies’!” The receptionist laughs and says, “Not to worry; I can send up some popcorn!” Moments later, a hotel bellboy arrives, but he accidentally trips and spills the popcorn everywhere. The guest chuckles, “Now that’s how you create an avalanche of fun!”
The owner of a small, family-run hotel is known for his cheery disposition and personalized service. One day, a guest comes to him, grumbling about a noise coming from the air conditioning. The hotel owner assures him it’s just the old system. That evening during dinner, the guest cracks a joke about the hotel being haunted. The owner smiles and says, “It’s not haunted; it’s just ‘air-conditioning paranormal activity’!” Everyone laughs, and soon, the guest ends up telling ghost stories, making the hotel lobby come alive with giggles. The next morning, he tells the owner, “I came here for relaxation, but I left with great stories!”
A woman checks into a quirky hotel that promises every room has a fabulous theme. Intrigued, she can’t wait to see her room, which turns out to be a spa oasis! The manager explains that she can enjoy all the amenities with a 24/7 spa service. Later, she tries to call for a massage and mistakenly ends up talking to the front desk, who had a mix-up with the phone lines. The receptionist, trying to be helpful, ends up booking her a room to relax in! When the woman realizes the mix-up, she laughs and says, “Well, if this isn’t a major ‘back rub’ moment!”
On a family trip, a mother books a hotel known for its breathtaking views. Upon arriving, she’s told that there are heavy fog warnings affecting the view. She sighs, disappointed, and laments, “What a view-less experience!” The kids, however, are determined to explore, stating they could play hide and seek in the fog. Later, while they’re trekking, they hilariously bump into fellow guests and form ‘foggy’ friendships, making the trip memorable! When they finally get to see the view on the last day, they all laugh and agree, “Sometimes it takes a little fog to create lasting memories!”
A businessman walks into a hotel with his suitcase. He approaches the receptionist with a stern expression and asks, “Can I check in without a reservation?” The receptionist smiles and replies, “Of course! Just fill out this form and take a seat. You may have to wait for a bit.” Frustrated, he fidgets and claims, “I’ll call corporate on this!” Just then, he sees a family checking in, laughing and joking. Suddenly, he gets caught up in their infectious laughter and ends up chatting with the receptionist. By the end of the evening, he realizes, “Maybe this is the best ‘check-in’ I’ve ever had!”
During a work conference, a group of colleagues checks into a hotel. They attend a networking event and spend the evening mingling with guests. One colleague remarks, “If we all sell our ideas well enough, maybe we’ll get a sponsored suite next year!” The others chime in about their dreams for the next conference. As the night progresses, they share all kinds of wild ideas for “improving” the hotel: disco rooms, karaoke showers, even a pet llama in the lobby! By the end of the event, they decide they need to pitch their “hotel of dreams” idea to the manager. Who would have thought business networking could lead to silly hotel planning?
A couple decides to celebrate their anniversary by checking into a boutique hotel. Upon arrival, they’re greeted with roses and champagne. While settling in, they quickly realize that their neighbors are very loud! The wife quips, “Well, this is how we know they’re celebrating too!” The husband laughs, “Let’s make it a good party!” So, they throw a mini dance party in their room! The loud neighbors end up joining, making it the best anniversary celebration ever while yelling, “Now that’s how you ‘suite’ it up!”