The Ultimate Beach Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Beach jokes! We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of beach humor.
Short Beach Jokes
Why did the beach apply for a job? It wanted to improve its sand-wich skills!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
How did the sand feel after it got in trouble? It was so crushed!
What is a shark’s favorite illegal activity? A sandbank heist!
Why did the crab never share its food? Because it was a little shellfish!
What kind of socks do you wear at the beach? Ankle socks!
How does a beach stay in shape? It does sand-ercises!
Why don’t fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish!
What do you call a beach that’s good at math? A “pi-er” beach!
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter!
What did the sand say to the tide? “Stop pulling me back!”
Why was the beach so good at singing? Because it had the best waves!
What did one tide pool say to the other? “You’re looking a little shallow today!”
Why did the mermaid lose her voice? She was a shell of her former self!
Why are beaches so clean? Because they have so much sand-itization!
What’s a sand’s favorite instrument? The sand-trumpet!
Why did the beach chair apply for a loan? Because it didn’t have enough support!
What’s a sea monster’s favorite part of the beach? The abominable sand!
What do you find at the beach that’s not a wave? A shore thing!
Why did the crab take a nap? Because it was feeling a bit crabby!
What happened to the man who lost his beach kit? He was at sea with no plan!
Why was the sand wet? Because it just had a shower!
What do you call a lazy beach? A shore slob!
Why are gulls the best beach comedians? They always deliver their jokes with great “wingspan!”
What kind of music do crabs listen to? Anything under the sea!
Why did the sand go to therapy? It had too many deep-seated issues!
What do surfers eat for dinner? Fish and surf!
Why was the beach unhappy? It had too much surf and not enough turf!
What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel!
Why did the fisherman bring a pencil to the beach? In case he caught a draw!
What’s a beach’s favorite game? Sandcastle of cards!
Medium Beach Jokes
A man walks into a beach café and orders a drink. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The man replies, “I’ll have a sea breeze.” The bartender responds, “Sorry, we don’t have a sea breeze. How about a sandstorm?”
Two fish are swimming in the ocean. One suddenly goes, “Oh no, I think I’m drowning!” The other fish looks confused and says, “How can you drown? We’re in the ocean!” The first fish replies, “Exactly, I can’t swim in all this water!”
A tourist takes a beach trip and sees a sign that says, “Swimming prohibited!” He turns to his friend and says, “Why do they even need a sign? Who would go swimming in a prohibited area?” His friend replies, “They probably don’t want any mermaids causing a ruckus!”
At the beach, a dad asks his son, “Do you want to build a sandcastle?” The son replies, “No, let’s just build a sand fort!” The dad thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, but we might need more sand; I hope this isn’t a sandbag situation!”
One day at the beach, a seagull swoops down and steals a hot dog from a picnic table. A nearby lady shouts, “Hey! Give that back!” The gull pauses, looks back, and squawks, “But I’m on a strict “seagull” diet!”
A couple at the beach starts arguing about where to set up their umbrella. The husband insists on one spot, but the wife wants another. Finally, she relents and says, “Fine, we can set it up your way, but don’t come crying to me when you get sunburned!”
After a long day on the beach, a little girl approaches her dad and asks, “Dad, can we have a bonfire?” He looks at her and says, “Sure, hun. But I didn’t bring any wood!” She responds, “No problem! We can use your old jokes as kindling!”
Why did the beach volleyball team get disqualified? Because they kept hitting the ball into the ocean, claiming it was a “water foul”!
At the beach, my friend asked if I wanted to go surfing. I told him, “I’m not really good at balancing, but I’ll definitely try to ride the waves!” He laughed and said, “They’re called ‘waves,’ not ‘wobbles!’”
A girl takes a selfie at the beach and captions it, “Beach hair, don’t care!” Her friend replies, “More like beach hair, ‘whoa!’ Are you trying to attract a hurricane?”
While walking along the beach, a man sees a bottle floating in the shallow water. He picks it up and opens it. A genie appears and says, “You get one wish!” The man thinks for a second and replies, “I wish I could have endless summer days!” The genie said, “Done! As long as you don’t complain about the heat!”
At the beach, a little boy turns to his dad and says, “Can we build a swimming pool in the sand?” The dad chuckles and says, “Sure, but only if we can fill it with waves!”
Why don’t beaches ever get lost? Because they’re always following the tide!
A surfer walks into a bar and orders a drink. He then looks around and says, “This place really doesn’t have much soul; it’s all sand and no waves!”
After a day at the beach, a kid asks his mom, “Why does the sea taste salty?” The mother smiles and replies, “Because it absorbs all the tears from swimmers who can’t hold on to the beach ball!”
With summer approaching, a kid said to his mother, “Can we go to the beach every day?” Mother replies, “Of course, but remember, even the sun gets tired of shining all the time!”
At a picnic, a dad teaches his son how to toss a frisbee. The son nervously throws it too hard, and it sails away into the ocean. The dad grins and says, “Well, that frisbee’s swimming more confidently than you!”
Two crabs were walking sideways along the beach. One says, “I heard we’re getting more tourists this year!” The other replies, “Great! More beach snacks for us!”
Why do beachgoers always feel cold? Because the waves keep ‘chilling’ them out!
Long Beach Jokes Stories
One sunny day, a family decided to spend the day at the beach. As they set up their umbrella, a little boy in the family spotted a crab scuttling around. Excited, he raced toward it, shouting, “Look, Dad! It’s a hermit crab!” His father, pretending to be serious, replied, “No son, that’s not a hermit crab. That’s just a crab that’s considering its housing options!” The boy laughed and spent the next hour finding more crabs to show off to his dad, insisting they were future marine real estate agents.
A group of friends decided to have a beach competition. Each would have to build the best sandcastle by sunset. They worked hard, putting in hours of labor. As the moment of truth approached, one friend proudly declared, “My castle will win for sure! It’s got turrets and a moat!” But as he turned to show his friends, a wave crashed and washed away half of his masterpiece. He sighed, looking dramatically at the remnants of his work and said, “Well, that was a tidal disappointment!”
One summer, a boy decided he wanted to catch a fish. His granddad took him to the beach and gave him a fishing pole. The boy spent hours by the water, not catching anything. Frustrated, he said, “Grandpa, why isn’t anything biting?” The granddad chuckled and replied, “You have to sing to them! Sea creatures love sweet melodies!” Thinking it was worth a try, the boy started singing his favorite song. Moments later, he felt a tug and caught a fish. “See, Grandpa?” he squealed! “Singing really works!” The granddad smiled, “Just don’t be surprised if you’re invited to perform at the next fish concert!”
After a long day at the beach, a man decided to take a break in his beach chair while his son built a sandcastle nearby. He dozed off, and when he woke up, he was covered in sand! His son laughed and exclaimed, “Dad, you’re a sandman now!” The father replied, “A sandman? More like a sandy sleeper. Now, where did I leave my beach of dreams?”
One day, a girl brought her inflatable unicorn to the beach. As she floated in the water, people started to gather around, admiring her unicorn. Suddenly, a mischievous seagull swooped down and landed on the unicorn. Panicking, the girl yelled, “Hey! That’s my unicorn, not your landing pad!” The seagull stared at her, unimpressed, and squawked back, “I’ll take my chances with the unicorn, thank you very much!”
A family set out to create the ultimate beach barbecue. They brought everything: burgers, hot dogs, drinks, and even a portable grill. When it was time to cook, a sudden breeze swept across the beach, knocking over their grill and sending food flying everywhere. The dad looked at the disaster and said, “Well, it seems we’re having a ‘food fling’ today, not a barbecue!”
Two beachgoers set out for a competitive day of beach volleyball. They were extremely serious about the game. Mid-way through, one of them dove for the ball and landed face-first in the sand. When he popped up, completely covered in sand, his friend laughed, “Well, at least that’s the best face-plant I’ve ever seen!” The player chuckled back, “If only sand could help my performance, I’d be an all-star!”
During a beach bonfire, a dad decided to share ghost stories. As he told a spooky tale about a haunted lighthouse, the children’s eyes widened in fear. Just when he reached the climax of the story, a loud wave crashed in the distance. One child shrieked, “It’s the ghost of the lighthouse! Save us!” The father, trying to stay calm, replied, “Don’t worry, kids, if the ghost comes ashore, we’ll challenge it to a sandcastle-building contest!” It calmed the kids down, and they spent the rest of the night building imaginary defenses against the ghost.
On a beach trip, a group of friends decided to go surfing. One of them was a beginner and very nervous. As they paddled out to the waves, the experienced surfer shouted, “Don’t worry, just catch the wave and ride it!” The beginner, feeling brave, tried to stand up on board and promptly fell into the water. As he resurfaced, he joked, “I think I caught the wave… but it caught me more!” They all laughed as he climbed back on the board.
A couple sat on the beach, eating ice cream and enjoying the sun after a long week. Suddenly, a seagull spotted them and swooped down to steal one of their cones. The husband hurriedly exclaimed, “Not my ice cream!” and tried to swat it away. The seagull evaded him and managed to pull off the ice cream scoop. All the couple could do was watch and burst out laughing, with the husband saying, “We should’ve known better than to invite the guest bird!”
As the sun started to set, a little girl asked her father, “Can we build a sandcastle that reaches the clouds?” The father chuckled and replied, “Honey, that would be quite the engineering feat. We might need some construction crews for that!” The girl pondered for a moment and responded, “In that case, let’s build a bridge to the moon instead! It’ll be closer!”
Finally, a family decided to take a sunset beach walk. As they were enjoying the view, the dad spotted a inflatable beach toy that lost its air and floated away. He called out, “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be in the pool?” His daughter chimed in, “No, Dad! It’s on a vacation too!” They all laughed as they walked to find the lost toy.
And that concludes our hilarious collection of beach jokes! Hope you enjoyed plenty of giggles and sunny vibes!