The Ultimate Son-in-law Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of son-in-law jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of son-in-law humor.
Short Son-in-law Jokes
Why did the son-in-law bring a ladder to dinner? Because he heard the steaks were high!
My son-in-law thinks he’s a comedian, but he can only make his wife laugh… sometimes!
Every time I see my son-in-law, I wonder where I went wrong with my daughter!
My son-in-law loves to fish, but I’m starting to think he’s just casting for compliments.
Why don’t son-in-laws make good secret agents? They’re always blowing their cover at family events!
My son-in-law told me he was on a seafood diet. I asked him how that works—”I see food, and I eat it!”
How do you know your son-in-law is a thinker? He stares at the TV for hours debating the best snack during the game!
Why did my daughter marry a software engineer? She needed someone who could troubleshoot family problems!
What do you call a son-in-law who lies? A fib-in-law!
My son-in-law is great at fixing things; too bad it’s never the issues I ask him to fix!
Why did the son-in-law fail his driving test? Too many wrong turns around the family reunion!
What’s the difference between a son-in-law and a dog? A dog can be taught to stay on the porch!
A son-in-law walks into a bar… and his wife walks right in after him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble!
My son-in-law is like a cloud. When he disappears, it’s a beautiful day!
How do you cheer up a sad son-in-law? Just remind him he’s still better than that last guy!
Why is my son-in-law bad at parties? He always tries to outshine the main event—my cooking!
What do you call a son-in-law who plays the piano? A grand-son-in-law!
Why did my son-in-law hold a ladder during the wedding? He wanted to take their vows to the next level!
My son-in-law just got a new job at the onion factory. I guess he’s really into crying on command!
Why did the son-in-law refuse to eat dessert? He was afraid it might be too sweet for his mother-in-law’s liking!
I told my son-in-law to start at the bottom; so he started asking the kids for their opinions on his jokes!
How does a son-in-law win an argument? By using “I was just joking” as his trump card!
Why do son-in-laws love gardening? Because they finally have a chance to root for something!
Ever notice how a son-in-law always knows the best restaurants? They just Google it in the car on the way!
What did the son-in-law say when he borrowed my tools? “I’ll screw it up even better than last time!”
My son-in-law is like a tornado. He occasionally blows through, leaves a mess, but makes things interesting!
Why do I give my son-in-law a hard time? Because someone’s got to keep his ego in check!
What do you call a son-in-law who loves adventures? A dare-in-law!
If my son-in-law was a shirt, he’d definitely be a little wrinkled—just like his jokes!
Medium Son-in-law Jokes
My son-in-law asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I replied, “Something that will last forever.” He got me a gift card to a restaurant—so I’m still waiting on that “lasting” gift!
I asked my son-in-law why he likes being a family man. He said, “I love the drama!” I told him, “Then you should audition for a reality show!”
At a family gathering, my son-in-law said he could fix anything. I handed him a broken promise—I’m still waiting!
When my son-in-law started telling dad jokes, I couldn’t stop laughing. For a moment, I forgot that he wasn’t really my father!
My son-in-law walked into my house and said, “What’s cooking, good looking?” I replied, “Your next meal if you keep flirting!”
Why did my daughter marry my son-in-law? She wanted a man who could argue without any facts! I guess he met the criteria!
My son-in-law complained he couldn’t find a job. I told him to just look for the one with the best benefits—like marrying my daughter!
At dinner, my son-in-law joked about my cooking. I smiled and said, “It’s an acquired taste—just ask your wife!”
Why did the son-in-law seek therapy? He needed help dealing with having two mothers-in-law!
My son-in-law said he was working on a time machine. I told him that’s genius—just don’t go back to when he dated my daughter!
My son-in-law loves video games, but I keep reminding him that real life doesn’t have cheat codes—especially when it comes to my cooking!
When my son-in-law asked if he could call me “Dad,” I said, “Only if you plan to mow the lawn every Saturday!”
What does my son-in-law do when he wants to impress my daughter? He uses Pinterest to show her how DIY is done—too bad he can’t build a table!
My son-in-law said he feels like a million bucks. I told him that’s just inflation—welcome to the family!
Every time my son-in-law tries to tell a joke, I remind him he’s not on the stand-up circuit; he’s just trying to stand up to my expectations!
When my son-in-law said my cooking reminded him of his mother’s, I thought, “Well, I hope you like leftovers!”
Why does my son-in-law always carry a pencil? Just in case he needs to draw the line when arguing!
A day after my son-in-law called my cooking “passable,” I was relieved. At least it wasn’t “unacceptable!”
What’s my son-in-law’s favorite movie genre? Rom-coms—because that’s how he sees his life playing out, in comedic chaos!
When my son-in-law took my daughter shopping, I joked, “If you’re not back by dinner, we’re rearranging the house again!”
My son-in-law brags about cooking, so I slipped him a cookbook. Now I’m just hoping he doesn’t burn the house down!
Why does my son-in-law talk about himself in the third person? Because he thinks he’s got a personality that deserves a fan club!
My son-in-law tried to impress me with his knowledge of wine. I told him the only vintage I care about is my daughter’s wedding day!
When my son-in-law said he’d help with the chores, I thought that meant lifting a finger. Turns out he meant just lifting the remote!
My son-in-law loves his in-laws… as long as ‘in-laws’ doesn’t involve him doing any housework!
Every time my son-in-law does the dishes, he says, “Just call me Mr. Clean!” I respond, “Well, you still need to earn that title!”
Long Son-in-law Jokes Stories
One day, my son-in-law decided he wanted to impress the family at dinner by cooking. He announced he was going to make his famous spaghetti. The whole family gathered in excitement, expecting a culinary masterpiece. Halfway through the process, he realized he didn’t have all the ingredients. He called my daughter, asking where the garlic was. When she told him, he suddenly panicked and asked if they could just omit it. “But it’s pasta night!” she yelled. They ended up making a run to the store, returning with more ingredients and a pizza, just in case!
During the last family reunion, my son-in-law decided to tell jokes around the campfire. Each joke was worse than the last, but he thought they were a hit. I leaned over to my wife and said, “I didn’t know silence could be so deafening!” Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and shouted, “Just like your jokes!” Everyone cringed, but my son-in-law looked proud, as if he had finally gained an audience!
On Father’s Day, my son-in-law thought it’d be fun to surprise me with a fishing trip. We set off early in the morning, only for him to realize he forgot the bait. He confidently said he could use hot dogs instead. I laughed so hard, thinking about the fish’s reaction. So, there we were on the lake, attempting to fish with hot dogs. Turns out, the only thing we caught was a family of ducks looking for a snack!
Last Thanksgiving, my son-in-law offered to carve the turkey. Feeling adventurous, he approached the turkey like a contestant on a cooking show. After several attempts with the knife, he just couldn’t do it. My daughter finally took over, while I whispered to my wife, “Maybe we should have just ordered takeout!” However, the story became a family tradition—every year we gather and ask him for his legendary “turkey tactics!”
During a family game night, my son-in-law proclaimed he was “the king of trivia.” Naturally, I challenged him. As the questions rolled in, it turned out he confused some historical figures with movie stars. By the end of the night, we dubbed him “King of Know-Nothing,” and the crown was nothing but a beer bottle cap!
One holiday, my son-in-law tried his hand at baking a cake for dessert. The aroma wafted through the house, and we were excited. However, once we cut into it, we found it to be more like pudding than cake. I asked him what went wrong, and he sheepishly admitted he’d doubled the liquid ingredients and forgot the flour. “So you made liquid cake?” I chuckled. Now every holiday, we serve “son-in-law surprise” as a dessert joke!
A few years back, my son-in-law joined us for a camping trip. The first night by the fire, he wanted to roast marshmallows. After lighting the fire with what seemed like half the box of matches, he managed to set a marshmallow on fire. As he panicked, I calmly showed him how to put out the flames. He responded, “Wow, I really should’ve practiced at home!” Now we have “S’more Son-in-Law” events, complete with safety training!
My daughter once asked my son-in-law to help her organize her closet. He unfortunately threw away half her shoes, thinking they were “just collecting dust.” When my daughter found out, she was furious! He tried to sweet-talk his way out of it by taking her out for dinner. But when it came time to go home, she made sure he carried her current favorites, which just so happened to be the same pair he tossed! Lesson learned: always consult before decluttering!
My son-in-law once tried to impress my coworkers. While discussing his job, he mistook the term “billionaire” for “bill collector.” As he excitedly described how he once recovered a dollar from a billing error, everyone politely clapped, unsure if they should laugh or applaud. We still remind him of the “great recovery” saga whenever he’s around!
One winter, my son-in-law hosted the holiday party. He forgot the crucial detail of making sure the driveway was clear, leading all the guests to get stuck in the snow. Amid the chaos of trying to get cars out, he enthusiastically suggested we should “have a snow party”—in the snow! We spent hours making snowmen while waiting for the cars to be freed. Now, it’s become an annual tradition: a snowball fight at his place during winter holidays!
At last year’s family wedding, my son-in-law offered to help tie the groom’s tie. After struggling, he proudly presented the tied knot to everyone. Only to realize it was a bowtie, not a regular tie! The groom was in stitches as my son-in-law tried to blame the “advanced” tutorial he found online. Now he gets asked to “tie one on” every time there’s a wedding!
During a trip to the amusement park, my son-in-law decided he was brave enough to ride every roller coaster. By the end of the day, however, he was “exhausted” after just one ride. I joked, “Consider it a lesson in humility!” Bear in mind, we still tease him about his ‘rollercoaster adventurer’ status. He now prefers the carousel—not much bravery needed there!
One summer, my son-in-law tried to host a barbecue. Unfortunately, he set the grill on the porch and ended up with smoke billowing everywhere! The fire department wasn’t called, but we had a good laugh dodging the smoke. Now every time we mention barbecues, he says, “It’s a smoke signal for a barbecue revival!” It might have not gone as planned, but it turned into a family motto!