The Ultimate Children Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Children jokes! We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of children-related humor.
Short Children Jokes
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
What do you call a child who is a magician? A kid-gician!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!
What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
Why did the computer go to school? To improve its “byte”!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
Why was the broom late to school? It swept in!
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What did the teacher say when the student asked if there would be math homework? “You can count on it!”
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
What’s a kid’s favorite instrument? The tuba toothpaste!
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!
What do you call a dinosaur that’s sleeping? A dino-snore!
Why did the boy bring a pencil to bed? He wanted to draw the curtains!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the student eat his pencil? Because he wanted to get a graphite taste!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
Why did the kid take a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What is a computer’s least favorite snack? Computer chips!
Why did the balloon go near the needle? It wanted to pop!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s popcorn?”
Why did the kid bring a suitcase to school? Because he wanted to pack his backpack!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple!
Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he was a fungi!
Medium Children Jokes
Why did the little girl bring a ladder to school? She heard the homework was really tough, and she wanted to take it to the next level!
What did the science book say to the history book? “You think you’re so great, but I have all the solutions!”
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired from pedaling around all day!
How did the kid get into the tree? He climbed it! It’s the “root” of the problem!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam! I thought I could swim past!”
Why did the student bring a ruler to bed? Because he wanted to measure how long he slept!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
What did the dad pro wrestler say to his daughter when she asked for a snack? “You can’t have your cake and eat it too!”
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
Why was the student’s report card wet? Because it was below sea level!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
How did the barber win the race? He knew all the shortcuts!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, and they sure don’t bite!
Why did the kid take a broom to school? He swept the competition!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did one plate say to the other? “Lunch is on me!”
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class? Because her students were so bright!
What did the calculator say to the student? “You can count on me!”
Why did the cupcake go to the gym? It wanted to get better frosting!
Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
Long Children Jokes Stories
Once upon a time, in a small town, a boy named Jimmy decided he wanted to impress his friends by building a treehouse. He gathered all the materials and started climbing the tree. His friend Jake called out, “Jimmy! What if you fall?” Jimmy replied with a grin, “Don’t worry! I have a plan!” He reached the top and started hammering, but his plan didn’t work out as he expected. The tree branch snapped, and he plummeted into a pile of leaves below. Covered in foliage, he stood up, brushed himself off, and said, “See! I told you I had it under control!”
One day, a little girl named Lucy wanted to play hide and seek with her little brother Timmy. “You can’t see me!” she shouted while hiding behind the sofa. However, Timmy was too small to understand how to seek. Instead, he started counting out loud. “One, two, banana… four!” Lucy giggled and couldn’t help but peek. When Timmy got to ten, he turned around and proclaimed, “I found you, Lucy!” She was surprised, but then realized Timmy had only been standing at the count until he got bored. They both burst into laughter.
A teacher asked her class, “If you had a million dollars, what would you buy?” Little Sally exclaimed, “I would buy a unicorn!” A boy in the back raised his hand and said, “I would buy a spaceship!” The teacher smiled and asked, “And what would you do in space?” The boy replied with confidence, “Well, I would go visit Sally’s unicorn!” The class erupted with laughter, and the teacher realized they all had unique dreams of adventure.
During recess, a boy named Kevin tried to impress his classmates by showing off his juggling skills. Balancing three oranges, he focused intently. Suddenly, his dog Dash ran onto the playground, barking excitedly. Kevin lost concentration, the oranges flew everywhere, and the dog jumped up to catch one mid-air. The children erupted in laughter, and Kevin exclaimed, “Well, I guess Dash can juggle better than me!”
At a birthday party, balloons floated everywhere. A little girl named Emma was excited about her balloon. She ran around, holding it tightly, but it popped! Emma turned to her mother and cried, “My balloon is gone!” Her mother, trying to comfort her, said, “Look, there’s another balloon! It’s just floating away!” Emma, wiping her tears, smiled, “But Mom, that balloon is too high! I can’t reach it!”
During art class, the students were asked to paint their favorite animal. Mia painted a giant purple elephant, while her friend Tom drew a tiny green mouse. The teacher walked around, admiring their art, and asked, “Why did you choose such different animals?” Tom shrugged, “Well, I wanted something small, so it wouldn’t take too long to paint!” Mia laughed and said, “My elephant needs a lot of paint—because size matters!”
Once at a park, two boys found a sign that read “Do not feed the ducks!” They looked at each other, grinned, and decided to collect breadcrumbs from their picnic. As they threw them, ducks waddled over eagerly. The boys were excited and cheered. Suddenly, the ducks gathered in a frenzy, quacking loudly. One boy shouted, “We should have read the sign more carefully!” Just then, a giant goose approached, and the boys realized they had attracted more than just ducks. They decided it was time to run!
The story of a worried dad is a classic. One day, he was at school for the big science fair and noticed his son, Alex, had created a volcano project. As the experiment began, the “lava” started spewing too much, completely covering the table. The dad panicked and shouted, “My son is going to blow up the school!” Alex, with a confident grin, replied, “It’s just science, Dad! No explosions here!”
On another day, a little boy named Charlie tried to bake cookies. He mixed everything up, but forgot to set a timer. When his mom walked in, she found Charlie staring at the oven, wide-eyed. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Charlie said, “I think my cookies are melting away… but they smell like chocolate!” His mom chuckled, “That’s because they are burnt!”
During a visit to the zoo, Lucy and her dad were excited to see the lions. Suddenly, one lion yawned and rolled over. Lucy exclaimed, “Dad, I think that lion is just pretending to be big!”
Her dad replied, “Or maybe he’s just showing off his impressive belly!” They both giggled, enjoying the day while creating more memories.
One rainy day, Timmy decided to build a fort out of blankets in the living room. As he got cozy inside, his little sister, Sarah, came in, saying, “Can I play too?” Timmy hesitated but then smiled, “Okay, but you have to be the princess!” Sarah’s eyes lit up as she said, “Fine, but only if I get to wear a crown!” The siblings giggled and made their fort a magical kingdom filled with laughter and imagination, creating memories that would last a lifetime.