The Ultimate Absurd and surreal humor Jokes Collection
Welcome to our comprehensive collection of Absurd and surreal humor jokes. We’ve gathered over 80 jokes covering every aspect of Absurd and surreal humor humor.
Short Absurd and surreal humor Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… discussing existentialism with the crows.
The chicken crossed the road… to escape the existential dread of being a sandwich filling.
I told my goldfish a joke, but he swam away laughing. Guess it was a slippery punchline!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, but they do have a bone to pick with reality!
What did the fish say when he hit a wall? “Dam!” And then he became the town’s best wall painter.
My toaster called me a “breadwinner,” but I think he’s just buttering me up.
If you see a flying pig, don’t panic. It just forgot its umbrella again.
I walked into a bar and found a talking dog. I asked, “What do you do?” He replied, “I tell jokes, but only to cats.”
The banana went to the party and never came back. Apparently, it split during the dance-off!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of life in the fast lane of the surreal!
My chair told me I was too much to handle. I replied, “That’s why you’re called a recliner!”
I found a magical pencil that can draw anything I want… but it only draws spaghetti and disappointment.
I asked my computer why it was so cold. It said, “I’m trying to catch a byte of winter!”
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including their own bizarre narratives.
The snail won the race because he had the best pep talks… in slow motion.
My washing machine is great at parties, it really knows how to spin a good yarn!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing that!
The cat spoke in riddles, but I couldn’t decipher a single one—guess I’m just not feline wise.
I asked the librarian for a book on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
The moon is mad because the sun keeps stealing its spotlight during the day. Talk about a lunar eclipse!
One day, the socks decided to run away. They thought they needed more space and less laundry.
Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing and realized it was now part of something bigger!
If you step on a crack in the sidewalk, does that make you a reality architect or just clumsy?
The robot tried stand-up comedy. How did it go? It short-circuited the laughter!
Why don’t time travelers ever leave silly notes? Because they always get sent back to square one.
The optimistic cactus waited for rain, believing the universe would take pity… until it decided to grow a sunshade instead!
The elevator and the escalator agreed to split up because they could never see eye to eye.
Why did the cow sit down at the computer? To update its mooo-d on social media!
I met a philosopher at a soup kitchen. He asked, “Is this soup really alive or just an illusion?” I told him, “Depends; is it existential or just delicious?”
What did one surreal painting say to the other? “We really need to step outside these frames and have an existential crisis!”
Why did the donut break up with the muffin? It felt glazed over and crumby.
Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales of surreal understanding!
Medium Absurd and surreal humor Jokes
As the clock struck seven, a group of penguins walked into the bar, ordered a round of fish, and debated climate change as if it were their favorite plot twist.
A giraffe and a tortoise entered a race. The giraffe strutted effortlessly ahead, but the tortoise pulled out a turbocharged snack time and crossed the finish line first, leaving the giraffe in bewildered disbelief.
The library had a sock section. I thought it was absurd until a lonesome sock spoke up, “I’m here for the freedom to read and to be mismatched in society!”
One day, a potato dressed as a carrot walked into a vegetable party. It was a scene straight out of a surreal comedy show, where no one could figure out which salad it was supposed to join.
The inventor of the extreme ironing was ironing his clothes while hanging off the side of a building. When asked why, he answered, “I’m just trying to press my luck!”
In a world where pizza can fly, one pizza became a pilot and crashed into a cloud of melted cheese. As he parachuted down, he declared himself the cheesiest daredevil around!
I once met a talking parrot at a cafe that served only existential coffee. It really made me question where I stand, especially about birdwatching.
A silent film starred a cat who became the local therapist. Every time it meowed, clients would leave with tangible life advice… for their best friends!
When the moon got a colonoscopy, it realized the clouds weren’t hiding it—it was just trying to see itself without filters!
I found a pair of glasses belonging to a dreaming chair. When I put them on, everything in my living room started giving me life advice, and I seriously questioned my furniture’s expertise.
The abstract artist painted himself into a corner and found himself grappling with reality in a box. He then decided reality couldn’t possibly handle all his brush strokes.
I wandered into a bakery and found loaves of bread discussing poetry. I asked what they were writing about. They replied, “Knead for the art of flavor.”
The octopus started a band, but every time it played a note, the audience dissolved into giggles. Turns out, they were just tuning into wavy frequencies!
A cloud thought it could achieve its dream of becoming a star by hanging out too frequently with the moon, but ended up becoming a weather forecast instead!
The goldfish joined a debate tournament, arguing passionately about how water is the true mediator of life. He swam to victory, turning his bowl into a trophy!
A broccoli and a pizza slice decided to co-host an anchor show, combining health tips and cheesy humor. The tagline? “Eat your greens—just don’t forget your toppings!”
In a bizarre twist, a wig decided it wanted to star in a movie, but every time it attempted a monologue, it ended up being an extra in a shampoo commercial instead!
An elephant who fancied himself a musician tried to join a rock band, but every time he played, it turned out more like a ‘trunk’ show than a jam session.
A detective potted a plant that turned out to be a spy. The plant said, “I’m rooting for you to uncover the mystery!” but I just wondered what it was already growing towards.
The sun decided to take a vacation on Pluto, declaring, “All this time, I needed space from my solar system!”
The dancing walrus attempted to join a ballet class, creating waves of laughter and chronicling his adventures in a memoir titled ‘Tips on Glaring.”
A bookworm was studying philosophy but kept getting distracted by his author’s footnotes. He mused, “Am I lost in a novel or is it a life of footnotes?”
Long Absurd and surreal humor Stories
Once upon a time in the town of Noodlebutt, a fish decided to become a mailman. This fish, named Gary, donned a tiny hat and began delivering postcards between birds. One day, he delivered a vintage postcard to a pigeon who couldn’t understand it, leading to an existential crisis about whether postcards had feelings.
In a land where uproarious laughter was harvested like crops, the laughter farmers discovered a new species of giggling daisies. When harvested, they emitted contagious laughter that filled the air. However, during one festival, a shepherd accidentally mixed them with onions, turning everyone at the feast into a sobbing mess. Somehow, that led to the greatest comedy show the following week!
A daydreaming potato had ambitions of becoming a rock star. It wrote songs about funky dips and creamy dressings. One day, it got its big break at a soup fest, but the crowd confused its performance with the sound of frying. Incensed, the potato shouted, “I’m not ready to be mashed!” and ultimately became an unexpected celebrity, leading to a series of bizarre cooking shows.
In a world where socks ran for city council, a rebellious sock decided to campaign on the platform of mismatched dignity. On debate night, he argued passionately about the right for socks to express themselves, even if it meant being an odd pair. The result? A landslide victory for the most colorful candidates, who vowed to bring fun and whimsy back to the washing machines.
One rainy afternoon, a group of umbrella enthusiasts gathered in a park, engaging in serious discussions about the aerodynamics of their canopies. Suddenly, a balloon floated down and claimed to be the “Queen of Weather.” The umbrellas decided to crown her. As they did so, the sky exploded into a dazzling spectrum of rainbows, indicating only nature could determine royalty.
Larry the Land Shark always felt out of place at the nautical-themed parties, where he was the only non-fisherman. One evening, he took to the floor, wearing a tutu made of seaweed to dance. To his surprise, an audience of sea cucumbers erupted in cheers. The night turned into an underwater ballet that had crustaceans yearning to breakdance!
In a bizarre twist of fate, a cat named Whiskers learned to speak fluent human. Whiskers decided to organize a summit between cats and dogs to discuss their differences. In the end, they all ended up playing charades rather than debating. The cats accused the dogs of stealing the show with their barks, while the dogs cried foul for the cats stealing the spotlight with their grace!
A philosophical egg sat on top of a mountain, pondering the meaning of yolk. One day, a chicken climbed up, challenging the egg: “What came first, you or our discussions?” Together they concluded they could crack the mystery of existence, but only if they stayed scrambled.
In the dreamscape of a sleeping sloth, he found himself in a fast-paced race where time lacked meaning. Every pass he made through the finish line, he became a statue at the award ceremony, where the audience of squirrels cheered in slow motion. The sloth finally won “Best in Absurdity for Time Management,” realizing perhaps racing wasn’t his strong suit.
A lion once decided to run a fashion show for jungle critters. The event turned wild when a chameleon changed outfits every five seconds. The final showstopper was a toucan wearing last season’s feathers, leading to a discussion about sustainability. In the end, the lion crowned the chameleon King of Faux Fur!
In a quirky tea shop, teapots began discussing their latest recipes for existential brews. Their best concoction involved a pinch of uncertainty, a dash of whimsy, and just a splash of ice-cold reality. Before they could sell it, the idea was stolen by a rogue coffee machine, causing a frenzy of outrage among the tea enthusiasts!
A snail decided to relive the tale of “The Tortoise and the Hare” by hosting a marathon. Everyone in the animal kingdom gathered, anticipating drama. At the finish line, the tortoise showed up with a collapsible lounge chair. The snail eventually realized the race wasn’t about speed, but rather “taking it slow”—and prizes were awarded to everyone who arrived late!
During a grand tea party, a hedgehog confessed it feared getting pricked while negotiating with the thorns. An enthusiastic rabbit replied, “Why don’t you trade your thorns for a decision-making cap?” Everyone applauded the absurdity of turning fears into fashion statements, thus initiating a revolution in hedgehog wear!
A seahorse was passionate about aquatic fitness and started a fitness club called “SwimFit.” Every day, she taught strategies for gracefully navigating underwater obstacle courses. The proud members consisted of starfish, turtles, and even the ultra-flexible octopus, who then turned the club into a dance team. They swam into the sunset, declaring it their best aquatic workout yet!